A textlationship is really a relationship you have with your phone and the idea of the guy who’s sending you messages—it’s not real, so stop fooling yourself. Here are 13 signs it’s happening to you. Even though this is focused on gals dating guys, it can work both ways.
YOU HAVE MULTIPLE TEXT SESSIONS.
You text each other many times on a daily basis and get a high from it. You think that it’s a good sign to text so much because it shows you have lots to talk about but are you even meeting up face to face and actually going out? Talking isn’t the same thing as dating.
WHEN YOU CALL HIM, HE NEVER ANSWERS.
The guy only seems to be available via text. It’s so weird. When you call him in the hope of putting a voice to him or increasing your connection, the call always goes to voicemail. Then he texts you back a few minutes later and tries to start a conversation. What the hell?
HE CAN NEVER COMMIT TO YOUR DATE SUGGESTIONS.
When you suggest meeting up again in person, he seems keen. However, when you take a closer look at his messages you notice that he loves saying “maybe” or “perhaps” you can meet soon without any set plans being made. He also leaves you hanging by saying things like, “I’ll let you know if I can see you this week.” He’s stalling!
HE DOESN’T ADD YOU ON SOCIAL MEDIA.
You’ve been chatting for what feels like ages and you know he’s on Facebook but he never adds you or follows you on his social media accounts. It’s like he wants to keep you stuck in one part of his life: texting. The rest is off limits. Why the shady behavior?
YOUR FRIENDS THINK YOU’RE IN A LONG-DISTANCE RELATIONSHIP.
When you tell your friends about this guy, they assume he lives in another country because you’ve never met in real life. You’re acting like you’re in a long-distance relationship with this guy when you’re in the same city! Is he just too lazy or uninterested in spending time with you?
SEXTING IS A MILESTONE FOR YOU.
When you progress from texting to sexting, it feels like a big deal, but is it really? Those late night dirty talks mean nothing if the guy doesn’t want to see you (and undress you) in real life.
HE LOVES TO GO DEEP.
A guy who wants to chat with you all the time and about serious issues might make you feel like he’s interested in developing a deeper level of intimacy, but you risk this being the deepest it’ll go. It still feels like you’re getting less than you deserve because you’re not actually dating.
HE PROMISES TO MEET UP BUT IT NEVER PANS OUT.
He’s so into you and can’t wait to see you again. The problem is, dates never actually happen. He keeps you holding onto this textlationship with his promises and you stick around because you’re hoping it’s a stepping stone to a real relationship. Disclaimer: it isn’t and his feelings aren’t real.
HE’S ALL ABOUT TMI.
You give each other loads of info about yourselves—some of it is actually TMI, like those late-night naked selfies. It feels safe to have these exchanges with the guy because he’s so keen to learn more about you, but ask yourself: isn’t oversharing with a guy you don’t even go on dates with risking your spark and connection being killed? Where’s the mystery? You should be with someone who wants the relationship to progress in a real way—and in real life.
YOU’RE FEELING TEXTING ANXIETY.
After a while of texting this guy who never makes future plans to be with you, you’re sure to start feeling texting anxiety. You worry that he could just stop texting at any time, and why shouldn’t he? If he’s not asking you out and making plans to see you, it means he’s satisfied with keeping you as a texting buddy. You’re literally at arm’s length while he’s typing up messages to you. He clearly doesn’t feel the need to bring you closer.
YOU’RE HOLDING ON FOR A REPEAT OF THOSE AMAZING DATES YOU HAD.
Maybe you’ve had some great dates with this guy before you ended up stuck in the texting zone. You’re hoping that all the energy and data you’re spending on this guy will result in more of those amazing dates. The only problem is, it’s been weeks of this back and forth texting and nothing’s really come of it. Get out now before you waste even more of your time on this dead-end guy.
HE’S THERE… BUT NOT REALLY.
When you’re at a rock concert, you tell him all about it as though he’s sitting next to you. When you go to your friend’s wedding, you text him throughout the night as though he was your plus-one for the evening. You’re always including him in your life and he does the same with you—you feel like you know his friends, family, and even his pets—but he’s not actually there. While it feels like you’re building something with this guy, you never know what he’s really doing in the spaces between texts, and who with.
TEXTING HAS ESCALATED.
Since getting to know the guy and hanging out a bit in RL, your texting has increased a lot. When is it a cause for concern? When it’s the only thing that’s happening and it’s replaced the chance of future dates. Ugh. Do yourself a favor and stop this madness!