Whether it’s the result of a romantic whim or following a nasty breakup, if you find yourself back on the apps after the age of 40, it can be a lot to take in. Maybe it’s been a while since you tried digital dating, or maybe you’ve never used it at all, either way, a few tweaks to your profile can help boost your chance of success. And dating coach Lindsay O’Brien is here to help.
She specializes in helping her clients find relationships that work and she says anyone over 40 should include these things in their dating app profile:
- If you want a relationship, say so - Dating apps are full of casual daters, so it’s easy to think that playing it cool is the best way to find a partner. But according to O’Brien, being clear about what you want is better because it saves you time and heartbreak by weeding out those who aren’t relationship-minded.
- Highlight your authentic personality - Remember, the purpose of dating isn’t to appeal to everyone, but to find a partner who clicks with you. So shine the spotlight on who you really are, rather than pretending to be someone you’re not and you’ll find a better match. Don’t pretend you love hiking and travel if you’re a homebody who doesn’t, say “On weekends, you’ll find me watching the latest Netflix drama with the best Chinese takeout in town.”
- Include what you’re looking for in a partner - Instead of listing all the things you don’t want, put a positive spin on those qualities. Want to avoid emotionally unavailable men? Say, “I’m looking for a deep conversation partner.”
- Get a friend to take some real photos - A selfie or two is fine, but O’Brien points out that non-selfies have been shown to perform better on dating apps. Have a friend snap pictures of you doing what you enjoy to show more of your personality and skip the filters to show the real you.
- End with a catchy conversation starter - But one that actually interests you. This gives daters an opening message to you and it could be a question like “What’s your favorite spot in the city?” Or if you’re a book-lover, try, “Message me the last book you read.”