Everyone can slip into a physical funk, even intimacy experts like Vanessa Marin. The sex therapist noticed that she was “bristling” every time her husband, Xander, tried to initiate physical contact because it was always followed by sex, which she wasn’t always in the mood for. To stop the “bristle reaction,” she started enforcing a mandatory nightly make-out sesh.
“This nightly routine has taken the pressure off of us to have to have sex if we start making out, and it’s really allowed us to enjoy making out just for the sake of making out,” Marin explains in a TikTok video. They broke the mental connection between kissing and sex by getting hot and heavy without going all the way and even made a rule to not have sex during the first month of the new make-out policy. She admits that there were even times when “we both got turned on and made ourselves get out of bed” so they didn’t get carried away in the moment and have sex.
Marin and other experts say a nightly make-out can be good for all couples. “Enjoying short and intentional kisses and making that a priority is a way to prioritize intimacy in your relationship, as well as potentially creating the conditions for responsive desire,” explains sex therapist Megan Fleming. It’s still working for Vanessa and Xander, who’ve been maintaining the make-out sessions for 13 years now and she says, “Knowing that we have this little tradition kind of helps us smooth over a lot of arguments.”
Source: NY Post